Category Archives: Uncategorized

Why I’m Not Waiting for Marriage


For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a wife and mother when I grew up. I liked dreaming of marrying the Man someday. We would have a big family and life would be perfect. Being the oldest sister of 10 siblings meant I got lots of mothering practice in. 🙂 There was usually a new sibling every two years and I loved it. I liked the responsibility that came with being a big sister. I learned how to take care of the infant, potty train the two-year-old, teach the five-year-old to read, play with the seven-year-old and so on. Mom taught me to cook and clean and do laundry. I couldn’t wait to be married.

So what happens when you’re in your twenties (or thirties) and you haven’t met your Man yet? Or maybe you think you’ve met him but he’s taking his time to come calling? What happens when the days grow long and years slowly tick by without any sign of marriage? Do you give up the notion of marriage? Do you start chasing the fellow you think is “the One”?

I have read many excellent books on singlehood and preparing for marriage. I’ve observed many young single women. I have gotten advice from older married women. And I found the answer to all of those questions. Are you ready for it?

FIND A VISION BIGGER THAN YOURSELF.

It’s that simple. And it’s that beautiful. Find a vision bigger than yourself. Turn your focus from yourself to something much, much bigger than you. Build your existence on Jesus Christ. Here are a couple of practical ways to find your vision.

1. Focus on God

  • Spend time in God’s Word. 

These single years can hold the sweetest times of fellowship with God. Because you’re not in a relationship, you can focus on deepening your relationship with your Heavenly Father. Find a Bible reading plan. Set goals for yourself. Find a Bible study book and work through it. Journal truths that you’re learning.

  • Grow your prayer life.

Practice the habit of talking to God throughout your day. Commit your day to the Lord as soon as you wake up in the morning. Share your thoughts with your Father as you’re busy at work, or helping a sibling, or doing the twentieth load of laundry in a day. Confess sin and make issues right. Pray for your family members, pray for your pastor and your church family. 

  • Memorize Scripture.

I’m going to admit here that I have not been as faithful as I should be in Scripture memory. Pick a passage and an accountability partner and start memorizing. Find a passage that has blessed you during trials. Memorize a verse that has been a challenge to you. (Send me an email if you’d like to join me in accountability for this summer.) 

2. Focus on others

  • Build your relationships with your parents.

I cannot emphasize this one enough. It is so very important to build a strong relationship with your parents. Spend time with them. Confide in them. Share your deepest struggles and your greatest victories with them. Our parents want to help us but they can’t if we’re not sharing our hearts with them. 

  • Spend time with your siblings.

Find fun activities to do with them. Take them out for ice cream. Listen to them. Did you know you can grow your vocabulary by listening to your siblings talk about their lives? With 10 siblings all interested in various topics and working in various professions, I’ve been able to learn many fun little bits of information. 🙂 (Do you know what a “roux” is? Thanks to my younger sister, I now know.)

  • Get to know the older people at your church. 

There is a wealth of knowledge that my generation is failing to obtain because we’re so busy with our work, our devices, and our good times. Take time to stop and listen to their stories. As you get to know them, compile a list of questions to ask them. What was your favorite thing to do as a child? How did you meet your spouse? Where did you work? What was an important Biblical truth you wish you had learned sooner?     

  • Find ways to serve and bless others.

Use your single years to continue learning new skills and gaining valuable experiences. Learn basic plumbing, take a class on floral design, learn a new language, expand your kitchen skills, go on a missions trip. The options are endless. As you continue to learn, you’ll increase your ability to bless others. Find a young mother at your church who could use some help. Volunteer to wash the dishes, change diapers, clean, whatever she needs you to do for an entire day. If you’re a math whiz, tutor a struggling sibling. Practice your kitchen skills by baking a loaf of bread and deliver it to a neighbor.

I’m not going to pretend that I have singlehood figured out. I still have many areas where I need to grow. But that’s one of the beauties of building your existence on Jesus. When we surrender to Him, He molds us into His image. That truth excites me! We have a God who wants to use us, His creation.

Also, before I close I should state that I still want to be a wife and mother someday. 🙂 I still like to dream about my wedding day and having a family of my own. But that’s not where God has me right now. God has a plan carefully tailored just for me if I’m willing to surrender to Him. And He has a plan for you, too. Will you let Him use you during these beautiful days of singlehood?

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Priceless Weddings for Under $5000 | Book Review

As someone who spends my money carefully, this book caught my eye. I am not currently planning a wedding but I do like to plan ahead and do my research. The book, Priceless Weddings for Under $5,000, is touted to be a manual for the low-budget bride.

Kathleen Kennedy divides the chapters by the various areas of a wedding that a bride needs to think about. She starts the book by encouraging the reader to break the wedding into 10 key steps. Steps include determining priorities, drafting a budget, and finalizing details. Her most important step is the final one, “Relax and enjoy your wedding!” If you’re stressed about the money spent on your big day, you’re not going to be relaxed.

The planning side of the book was informative but the money-saving tips were not all that helpful. Several of her tips were merely suggestions to have a friend do it for you. For a large wedding, I don’t know how practical it would be to have a friend provide all the food. Many of the weddings featured in the book had small guest lists, in which case it wouldn’t be as difficult to have friends provide different services.

I definitely would not recommend this book to a bride as a “must-buy.” Perusal of a library copy may be helpful but don’t set your heart on saving lots of money. You would be better off browsing Pinterest for money-saving wedding ideas. If you like planning suggestions, you may find the book helpful.

Blogging for Books provided this book in exchange for my honest, thoughtful review. 

How to Get Dressed | Book Review

If you’ve followed my blog for a while, you’ll know that I’m a strong believer in women dressing modestly. God created me to be a woman and I believe it’s important to for me to dress in a way that distinctly shows that I am a woman. But almost as important as dressing modestly is dressing neatly.

Enter: How To Get Dressed by Alison Freer. This book is an excellent resource of style-related advice. Alison, a costume designer, guides you through rethinking your wardrobe. Chapters include topics such as proper fit, alterations, fashion rules, wardrobe tools, shoe care, and more.

It doesn’t matter if that summer top is adorable and a great price, if it doesn’t fit you, then you shouldn’t buy it. Alison repeatedly emphasizes that fit is the great enemy of style. In fact, she has an entire chapter devoted to explaining various styles of clothing and why it may or may not fit you properly. As she explains on page 13, “Proper fit means that the clothes you wear should always perform as you need them to, period.” She explains that the everyday problems you encounter with your wardrobe are caused by poorly fitting clothes.

Another chapter explains that not every article of clothing you buy will fit you well. Sometimes, you will have to alter your clothing in order for it to fit you correctly. I was actually already doing this before I read the book. Most times, if you have some knowledge of sewing, you can quickly accomplish the necessary alterations on your own. If you can’t do your own alterations, Alison suggests finding a tailor who can.

One of my favorite chapters was, “Wardrobe Tools to Keep Your Look Together”. Using everything from safety pins, to moleskin, to Sharpies, Alison shares the tips and tricks you need to fix those last-minute wardrobe mishaps. (I learned from my grandmother to regularly carry a supply of various sized safety pins in my purse. There have been times when I’ve had a line of people asking for a pin to fix their wardrobe dilemma.) They can be used for repairing jewelry, stopping static cling, keeping that slip from sliding around under your skirt, as well as a number of other mishaps.

I highly recommend this book as a reference guide for your fashion questions. The helpful advice, tips, and tricks are worth the investment. The one detail I did not appreciate about the book was some of the language that was used.

Blogging for Books provided this book to me in exchange for an honest, thoughtful review. 

Guest Post at Eden’s Evaluations | Fashion

Good morning! Eden from Eden’s Evaluations has asked me to again do a Fashion Friday guest post. I was excited to submit my sister Bethany’s outfit. Check out the post for details about Bethany’s outfit and for fun facts about Bethany!

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